Three Personality Types Your Ego Loves to Love

Three Personality Types Your Ego Loves to Love

If you really evaluate the company you keep, who would make up said company?  
Are they people who see your soul? 
Who tell you the raw uncomfortable truth because that's what real friends do?
Or are they people who make you feel better about yourself?
Depending on your life goals, you may want friends that make you feel comfortable and right or you want ones who are supportive in the ways that matter for the freedom of your soul.

These are three types of people that are keeping you stuck that we think are friends.

The Efficiency Of Having an Open Heart

For those of you who don't know me personally, I'm kind of an intense workaholic. I could work from early morning until late at night without giving myself much pleasure or fun or just something for "me".  I have not historically been so good at the Self Care/ Self Love thing. I have a hard time telling my inner drill sergeant to shut the f*ck up. 

So I have this new meditation in the morning. I go to the pool early (hey it's already 105 by 9am here in Phoenix! 😝) and read a book while in the pool. No phone. No work. Just me and the sun and some water.  My teammates now force me to go because I am so grounded and open when I give myself this time and I come back nourished.

DOWLOAD A FREE GUIDED HEART MEDITATION

I have been reading this book called The Untethered Soul (highly recommend). I am at the part where he talks about the choice to live with an Open Heart, and how when we live with an Open Heart we have limitless energy because we allow ourselves to be connected to Source. When we close our hearts we lose that connection. That is when we feel exhausted. That is when we fall into depression. 

I have had some major heart openings this year and while I know it's so important and I love the feeling of living open, I also experience the grief that comes with opening a previously closed heart.  
We don't open our hearts because it hurts.
The unfelt pain that we shut our hearts to rises and we are forced to sit in that pain until it clears.

My Drill Sergeant and my grieving heart don't get along so well.
It's "inconvenient" and "unproductive" it says. But it's totally wrong.
When I have "feelings", if I make them inconvenient and I close my heart in order to be productive, then I'm cutting myself off from the kind of energy that makes my work effortless.

Such a mind f*ck right? Having feelings and keeping your heart open is more efficient over time. Who knew!

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about this! Leave a comment below!

Oh! And I'm working on a post about being seen. What does it mean to you to be seen? When do you feel seen? When do you feel unseen? Email me your thoughts at perri@theschoolofalchemy.com

Until next time.

Your Career Is Not Your Problem

A lot of people who come to me looking for help with their career, (I was an executive recruiter after all). Invariably when I begin to talk to the person however, the career is not the real issue. It is always something deeper.

In our culture, career is the esteemed thing. It is the thing we all deeply want to get right. It means so much about us. It gives us something to direct our energy and time toward. The better our career, the more it appears we have it together, and that makes us feel better about ourselves. 

Most people expect their career to validate them.  They get approval from others for doing a good job.  They use the image of success to tell themselves everything is awesome.  

If our career is not together it also means something about us. That something is usually negative. We then pile shame on top of to make it worse. Shame leads to lack of confidence, then turns into a downward spiral and even less productivity.  

When people's careers aren't where they want them to be I find stories of shame or depression and not being able to keep up or stay motivated.  I find stories of every external factor as to why he or she hasn't had more success.  I find people who don't know where their time goes and can't get things done.  

When I work with people who come to me about career I look for the following things:

1)  Why are they doing what they are doing? This is always the first thing I look at. Very infrequently do people truly love what they do or feel like it is their purpose.  There is a deeper desire under there, to be great, to be free, to be seen, to be respected and others that they have somehow told themselves that this path they are on is the way to get there.

2) How are they spending their time?  Is their energy and attention focused towards their goal or are they distracted or do they spend a lot of time with their attention on others?  Are they taking care of others in a way that sacrifices themselves? Do they have poor boundaries?

3) Are there emotions that are not being felt? Not feeling emotions is probably the number one time suck in life. How you ask? Well because if you don't want to feel, you have to spend an enormous amount of time covering them up. How do we cover up feelings? Alcohol, drugs, food, TV, Facebook, hours browsing the internet, texting, worrying about other people's problems, taking on the world's problems, fighting with your partner, isolating in your room eating fast food and watching a Netflix marathon, playing video games, porn, obsessing on Tinder, having disconnected sex with strangers.  The list goes on.

I see this deeply in others because I dismantled this in myself.  See, I had an amazing career, more money than I had ever thought I could make and I was miserable. Truly. I remember hating being inside my own skin. I was so deeply unsatisfied. No amount of money or reaching any goal could fill the empty feeling.  I grew deeply resentful of my success. Yes, I know it's hard to believe but I even started to hate my money. Like "Fuck you, what good are you if I am not happy?".

Through my journey of starting to see what was underneath, I saw that I had built my entire career for the approval for others. Once I saw that truth, it all fell like a house of cards.  And yeah, my life fell apart.  All of it. The fancy awesome way that it appeared to others.  The way I felt like a baller. The way that I hid behind my money to solve my problems. It all melted away.  

It's taken me some time but building a business built on truth is the best career decision I have ever made.  I am genuinely happy. I feel fulfilled. I feel inspired. I feel free.

Would you like to talk to me about how I can help you find that kind of happiness?  Fill out our INTAKE FORM and we will contact you to set up a free consultation.

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The Path of Least Resistance :: Removing Patterns That Keep Us From Living

The Path of Least Resistance :: Removing Patterns That Keep Us From Living

I recently went to a retreat where a speaker talked to us about the idea that we are all God-like beings in a world run by sock puppets (our egos). The voices of the sock puppet include Scarcity, Separation and Safety. These are mostly voices that tell us there is a problem, that there is not enough, that we are not enough, that we need to be safe and comfortable. Most of this is an actual illusion and keeping us from what is real in the present moment.

I don’t know that I chose this path. I feel like it kind of chose me. And the fucked up part about waking up is that you kind of can’t go back once you start unwinding the illusions. So you just have to keep going. And the farther you go, the more painful it becomes to not live in the truth. So one of my practices is to really observe how I operate and to unwind patterns that don’t belong.

I have spent a lot of time looking at patterns of resistance and how they relate to one another. Resistance is a big one of mine because I think I have always been petrified of my own potential. I think many people are afraid of what is truly inside them for fear of not being liked or fitting in or other people trying to bring us down or destroy us. They call it “Tall Poppy Syndrome” in Australia, where “people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticized because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers”. Even those voices of fear are not the real me, it’s just the ego keeping me from moving.